Ebb and Flow

Immediately after my whole30 I started eating all sorts of crap again.  I didn't necessarily want to, but I failed at planning and didn't know what else to do.  And now?  Now, I feel like crap again.  It doesn't help that something seemingly always comes up.  Parties, illnesses, injuries, vacations.  Which is why, and I can't believe I'm putting this into writing on the interwebz, I'm actually looking forward to work starting again.  I will be at a new school, much closer to home, with a later start time.  I hope to get my exercising done in the morning- especially when it's so hot.

I've also had to update my goals a little bit.  Instead of doing the LB half in October, Shannon and I are doing the Tinkerbell 10K in January.  Training needs to start... like yesterday.  Anyway- here are the new and updated goals.

January- Finish the Tinkerbell 1/2 Marathon - Completed woot!
February- Stick with my diet  I give myself a "C"
March- Increase exercise- in progress... doing well so far!  Started & completed a Whole30!
April- Turn 30 (Yikes!)  Survived turning 30 and completed my Whole30.  Then fell off the bandwagon.
May- Go to the American Humanist Association convention in San Diego  That. Was. Amazing.  Tim and I had a great time reconnecting, discussing important issues, and meeting new friends.
June-  Stick with my diet and exercise I met this and didn't meet it all at the same time. The first half of June I did really well.  The 2nd half I recovered from the stomach flu.  Bleh.
July- Girls' Trip to Vegas!! Vegas was amazing.  I have some wonderfully awesome friends.  Exercise has been pretty much nonexistent and made almost impossible by breaking my baby toe (at least I think I broke it).  Which is quite possibly the lamest excuse ever.  It hurts to put shoes on, squat, lunge, pretty much anything that puts weight on my foot.  But, I shall survive.
August- Whole30 and start training for the 10k
September- Ending the Whole30 and transitioning to a lifestyle that's maintainable.
October-
November-
December- Celebrate meeting all of my goals and losing (hopefully) 50lbs.

So that's pretty much where I am.  Again, I'm sorry and will try and be a better blogger. 

Hellllllllo!!!

Hello blog readers!  I'm so sorry for neglecting y'all.  I am now on vacation and will dedicate some time here.  I need it.  Here are my updated goals:


January- Finish the Tinkerbell 1/2 Marathon - Completed woot!
February- Stick with my diet  I give myself a "C"
March- Increase exercise- in progress... doing well so far!  Started & completed a Whole30!
April- Turn 30 (Yikes!)  Survived turning 30 and completed my Whole30.  Then fell off the bandwagon.
May- Go to the American Humanist Association convention in San Diego  That. Was. Amazing.  Tim and I had a great time reconnecting, discussing important issues, and meeting new friends.
June-  Stick with my diet and exercise- Currently in progress.  I started a dietbet and another whole30.  We have the adoption party coming up next weekend and I'm thrilled to see so many friends and family members that I haven't seen for awhile.
July- Girls' Trip to Vegas!!
August-
September-
October- Long Beach 1/2 Marathon (I was absolutely talked into this by Shannon.  I blame her).
November-
December- Celebrate meeting all of my goals and losing (hopefully) 50lbs.

Overall, I'm down about 19lbs and 10ish inches from Christmas.  And for the first time in a long time I see me meeting my goals. 

Things were rough at the end of the school year- my work stress carried over to home.  But I'm happy to announce that things are going wonderfully now.  We're all in a routine and the kids (and Tim!) love having me home.

Goals.

I just realized that I never updated from February.  I would say I partially met my goal.  February was rough.  But so far- I'm doing better in March.

January- Finish the Tinkerbell 1/2 Marathon - Completed woot!
February- Stick with my diet  I give myself a "C"
March- Increase exercise- in progress... doing well so far!
April- Turn 30 (Yikes!)
May- Go to the American Humanist Association convention in San Diego
June-  Stick with my diet and exercise
July- Girls' Trip to Vegas!!
August-
September-
October-
November-
December- Celebrate meeting all of my goals and losing (hopefully) 50lbs.

I'm part of an online weight loss support group.  The ladies there are so incredibly awesome and supportive.  And encouraging.  I couldn't keep up with this without them.  I love them so. 

Temptation

Why is it so hard to say no to yummy, fatty, chocolatey goodness?  I want a donut.  A raised with chocolate.  But if I get one, I'll want more.  I'm the dog, y'all.  I do have healthier alternatives, but gosh. 

So what do you do?  Do you give in?  Do you have a cheat day?  Do you limit yourself to "just one"?  How do you handle it?

January in Review

Overall, I did a pretty good job.  I mostly suck with my diet, I exercised, and I finished the 1/2 marathon.  I gained 7lbs back after the 1/2 and overall have lost a total of 10.4lbs and 7.5 inches since Christmas.  That makes me feel awesome.

My goal for Feb- stick with my diet and exercise.  I'm not going to give into temptations, instead I'll find better alternatives.

How'd you all do?

Weekly Meal Plan

This last week I didn't meal plan.  And holy moly- I didn't stick to my diet.  Little cheats here and there made my stomach upset.  So.  Here's my meal plan for this week.

Breakfast (for the week)- egg bake (eggs, egg whites, veggies, hot turkey sausage)

Lunches: salad, bell peppers with tuna (amazing), leftovers

Dinners: Pesto chicken & roasted broccoli,  turkey burgers & salad, pork tenderloin & roasted brussels with proscuitto, fried cauliflower rice, grilled stuffed portabello mushrooms. 

I don't have links to the recipes right now but if you'd like them- I'll pull them up!  I'm really excited about the cauliflower rice.  I love that stuff an inappropriate amount.

As far as exercise- when it's not raining I'll take the kids on walks.  If it rains, I'll fire up the Biggest Loser workouts.  For me, it's not about killing myself to lose weight, it's about making changes I can keep up with to make myself healthier.  For me.  And my family.

Updated Goals

I am still proud of myself for finishing the 1/2 yesterday.  My legs are sore, my skin is blistered, but I am so proud.  Here's my updated goal list for 2013.

January- Finish the Tinkerbell 1/2 Marathon - Completed woot!
February- Stick with my diet
March- Increase exercise
April- Turn 30 (Yikes!)
May- Go to the American Humanist Association convention in San Diego
June-  Stick with my diet and exercise
July- Girls' Trip to Vegas!!
August-
September-
October-
November-
December- Celebrate meeting all of my goals and losing (hopefully) 50lbs.

Sometime this year I may do another run.  I'm not sure, though.  I want to do more hiking.  I'm sure I'll keep up with my exercise, but I want to mix it up some.

And as of last week I'm down 6.6 lbs and 6 inches overall and down 11.6 since Christmas.  I feel good.  I feel strong.  I feel in control.

::collapses onto couch::

Y'all.  I just completed a half marathon.  13.1 miles in just about 3:30.  The first half was awesome through Disneyland and California Adventure.  The 2nd half through Anaheim was boring.  But we finished.  And I have a shiny medal (and blisters) to prove it.

At this time, I don't think I'll do another one.  But we'll see. 

Week 1

The first week back into it, I lost 2.6lbs and 3.75in.  Awesome.  Slow and steady wins the race.  I'm already down 8.6 from Christmas.

Thank you awesome support system!!  I'm feeling SO good the last week.  Sure I've been sore.  But amazing overall.  I'm off to make dinner.  Thank you all for your continued support. 

Successes

Often times I get caught up on my failures that I have a difficult time sticking with it.  Overall, I'm a pretty optimistic person so it catches me by surprise that I can't be about my weightloss.

Here are my successes so far this week:

I've exercised.
I haven't cheated on my diet. I have stuck with my diet.
I'm pretty ready for the week back to work, food wise.
I haven't slacked on my water intake.  I have kept up with my water intake.

I'm proud.  I'm also deciding on how to reward myself in (possibly) 10lb increments.  New clothes may be needed, a massage, a facial... I cannot wait.

Have a good weekend, readers :)

Anxiety

I don't even know how many different times I've started this post.

I've always dealt with some form of anxiety.  From typical things like the first day of school or dances, to having a full blown panic attack the grocery store.  Things got worse after Katie and Matthew died but I learned and coped. 

I learned that exercise helped.  Sometimes.  I learned that watching my diet, crocheting, sleep, taking care of myself helped.  Sometimes.  Then we got Michael and Ruthy.  Again- not their legal names.  Yet.

Becoming the mom to two toddlers overnight paired with incident reports (every time they got hurt) made my anxiety skyrocket.  How could I keep them safe all of the time?  What if the courts looked down upon us for the bruises the kids would inevitably get?  What if the courts took the kids away because of one too many bruises?  What if they got really hurt?  What if something happened to Tim and I'm solely responsible for the kids?

And up went the anxiety.

I tried the breathing techniques, the exercising, everything I used before.  Nothing helped.  I could not get out of my head enough to see that they're kids- accidents happen.  The court and our caseworkers, obviously, knew that.  I just couldn't stop thinking of something happening to them.

So I went to see my doctor.  I cried through the entire appointment.  He diagnosed me with generalized anxiety and gave me some medications to help.  He encouraged me to see a counselor who specializes in grief/baby loss and to take my medications as prescribed.

Overall, I'm so much better.  I still have times where everything is so overwhelming and I don't feel like I can handle it, but that's normal.  That's parenting.  That- I can handle.  I'm hoping that with the weight loss and diet changes that I'll get to an even better place.  Maybe even a place where I don't need the medications. 

Happy 2013!

I hope you all have a wonderful 2013.

Now is the time that resolutions are made to, in general, make us better people.  I do have a lot of lofty goals for 2013 and I really don't want to be disappointed in myself like I was in 2012.  I want to I'm going to look back and be proud of myself.  I'm going to make monthly goals for myself. 

Here's what I have so far:

January- Finish the Tinkerbell 1/2 Marathon
February- Stick with my diet
March- Increase exercise
April- Turn 30 (Yikes!)
May- Go to the American Humanist Association convention in San Diego
June-  Stick with my diet and exercise
July-
August-
September-
October-
November-
December- Celebrate meeting all of my goals and losing (hopefully) 50lbs.


And that's all I have so far.  What are you planning on doing to make you better in 2013?