Hellllllllo!!!

Hello blog readers!  I'm so sorry for neglecting y'all.  I am now on vacation and will dedicate some time here.  I need it.  Here are my updated goals:


January- Finish the Tinkerbell 1/2 Marathon - Completed woot!
February- Stick with my diet  I give myself a "C"
March- Increase exercise- in progress... doing well so far!  Started & completed a Whole30!
April- Turn 30 (Yikes!)  Survived turning 30 and completed my Whole30.  Then fell off the bandwagon.
May- Go to the American Humanist Association convention in San Diego  That. Was. Amazing.  Tim and I had a great time reconnecting, discussing important issues, and meeting new friends.
June-  Stick with my diet and exercise- Currently in progress.  I started a dietbet and another whole30.  We have the adoption party coming up next weekend and I'm thrilled to see so many friends and family members that I haven't seen for awhile.
July- Girls' Trip to Vegas!!
August-
September-
October- Long Beach 1/2 Marathon (I was absolutely talked into this by Shannon.  I blame her).
November-
December- Celebrate meeting all of my goals and losing (hopefully) 50lbs.

Overall, I'm down about 19lbs and 10ish inches from Christmas.  And for the first time in a long time I see me meeting my goals. 

Things were rough at the end of the school year- my work stress carried over to home.  But I'm happy to announce that things are going wonderfully now.  We're all in a routine and the kids (and Tim!) love having me home.

Mother's Day.

Emotionally, today was better than expected.

The meltdown I had was because I'm sick and had to go to urgent care.  The 2 insurance covered urgent cares are where the babies were born.  So, I stayed in town.  I paid out of pocket.  I couldn't fathom to even drive an hour and to sit in the buildings where my life changed.  Twice.

And because last night I stubbed my toe.  And because I have a blister on my finger from mowing the lawns before Tim came home from his class.

I'm hoping I feel better in a few days once the antibiotics kick in so I can continue taking care of myself again.

And I know I've blogged about this before, but I just need to get it off my chest. I'm almost certain there are emotional aspects behind me relaxing a bit with the exercise.  The fact that we are most likely not going to get pregnant again is a huge one.   And I know that I'm a good enough reason to keep it going.  I know that my future and our kids are good enough reasons to keep it going.

But there's still something holding me back.  I don't know what it is.  And I don't know how to get there.  Can anyone help me with this?

Day 1

I'll start with a few confessions.  I have a tendency to follow my heart, I put others' needs before my own, I am a procrastinator and I'm constantly thinking.  I have a difficult time quieting my thoughts, motivating myself and staying organized.  I love clothes, shoes, bags, changing my hair and spending the day at the spa.  I absolutely adore my husband and want to be a better me for us and for our future.  

He deserves that.  I deserve that.  

For some reason (a reason that I haven't discovered yet) I have a difficult time putting myself first.  I know the things that make me lose weight (the diet and exercise) and make me feel better physically and mentally (exercise, keeping my house pulled together and picking up after myself).

By the end of the month, I hope to know what stops me.  To know why there's a disconnect between what I want and what I do.  I will have exercised every day and stuck to my diet.  I will do one little thing around the house that makes me feel better.  Whether it's actually putting away my hair stuff when I'm done with it, folding the piles of laundry or tackling the pile that has needed to be organized since we moved in.


In 28 days my life will be healthier, more organized and ready for the future.

Also, my mom and I started this blog.  Follow it.  Contact us if you want to contribute to it and let us know how your 28 days go. 

I know, I know...

It has been forever since my last post.  I'm sorry, I've been busy.  And on vacation.

Confession.  I blew my diet.  I suppose it could be worse, but I ate sweets, carbs and white flour ::gasp::.  And guess what?  It was good.  Like really, really good.  It was definitely worth it, but now, it's time to get back on the diet train and lose the remaining weight.

I think I needed the break (both diet and from work) to kind of recharge my batteries, to get refocused and back on track.

Also.  Even though I ate all of those incredibly bad for me yummies, I didn't gain any weight.  I didn't lose any either, but hey- not gaining is sometimes better than losing.  Especially after eating ice cream and pizza.

My goal for this next week is to exercise at least 3 days and be strict on my diet again.  Meaning, no more refined sugars, no breads and no flour.  It's okay, I won't miss it.

I promise I'll try to blog more and update my stats when they start changing again.

Another confession.

Today I broke my diet.


I cheated.


I hate a handful of chocolate covered pretzels and a piece of licorice.  Oh and a few reeces pieces.  Holy cow.  Well, yes.  That's what I feel like.  A cow.  A weak, pms-ing (sorry if that's TMI), cow.  


Logically, I know I'm not.  I know I'm still 24lbs down and set-backs are normal.  And one day with cheating isn't terrible and it won't be the end of the world.

But.

I feel horrible. 


I'm going to go take a bath and pour myself to bed.  Tomorrow will be a better day.

::waves to readers::

Hi all!  Sorry it's been so long since I've written anything.  Tim and I went on vacation with 2 awesome couples then picked up our puppy.  So.  We've been busy.

That little weight loss ticker over there ::points to the right:: is still moving, so I'm happy with that.  It's slow.  But it's moving.  And that's all that matters. 

And I do have a confession.

I haven't been exercising as much as I should be.  Since coming home from vacation, I've been working and chasing a puppy around.  It's hard to do things, like exercise and cook, with needing to keep an eye on the puppy.  And I feel so guilty when I'm gone all day and not give the dogs all of my attention.  But.  I'll get back into the routine.  Like today.  Today I'll exercise.

I've been asked a lot about what I do for exercise.  Since I despise the gym, I've been doing The Biggest Loser Challenge on Wii, TBL Last Chance Workout and walking.  I have TBL Challenge set for 4 days a week for 40 minute workouts on challenging.  I do the Last Chance Workout on days I don't feel like doing the other and just want to get a workout over with and done.

Another confession.  Even though I have it set for 4 days a week.  I haven't stuck with the program.  But my newest goal is to lose the next 7.5lbs in 3 weeks before I go to Boston.  I know I can do it.  I'll just have to stick with my workouts. 

A Confession.

I'm reaching the point where dieting and exercising is hard.  I want to throw it all away, eat the cookies, drink the coffee and eat french toast while I sit on my ass and watch trash T.V.

 The first month, it was easy.  Meal planning, exercising, being prepared.  It was easy because I was motivated.  I'm still motivated and I'm still prepared.  I'm not getting in a rut with my diet and I don't crave the foods (sweets mainly) that I did before. 

For the last week or so, I have been so much more in-tune with how much work this is.  Every day it's a conscious decision to make the right food choices and to exercise.  It would be so easy to just put on my (now much looser) comfy pants, put my feet up and go back to the way things were.

But I didn't like how they were.  Looking back, I didn't like that me as much.  This newer me is so much better.  I'm stronger and heather, both physically and emotionally, than I have been in quite awhile. 

And saying that tastes better than any cookie.