Welcome Back, Me!

Last time I saw Dr. W we decided I'd try it on my own and see how it goes.   Here we are 2 months later and I've gained 3 pounds, had an anovulatory cycle (not unusual with pcos) and was so unmotivated and just lost.

I figured out that I need to keep seeing her.  I need to have her hold me accountable.  I need to weigh-in, tweak my diet and exercise and just talk with someone else.

I'm going to continue my 1,400 calorie a day diet based on the modified South Beach diet (I can add back in fruit and whole wheat bread/flour on occasion), interval training/exercising 4-5 times per week, the vitamin B shots along with a slew of other supplements and vitamins- including one specifically for pcos.

My next follow up appointment is July 5th.  I'd really like to lose about 10lbs between now and then.  If I can't, I'll be more than okay with whatever weight I've lost.

I'll update more often with new recipes, exercises and weight loss.

Thank you readers, for all of your support.  You all are so awesome.

Who has 2 thumbs and is the world's worst blogger?

That would be me.

I'm sorry guys.  There is no excuse for being the worst blogger.  I have been busy with all of the end of the school year crap, but I've been dealing with a lot of emotional things, too.

Mother's day was a lot harder than expected.  I was sick which threw me off of my exercise routine.  So, I haven't been working out as much as I should.  I haven't been as strict on my diet as I should be, either.  The 28 day challenge thing?  Yes, that was a big fat failure, too.

I'm trying to stay motivated and stay positive but sometimes it's just so hard.  I have some wonderful people coming to visit in July and I would love to knock their socks off with my weight loss.  But more than the weight loss, I want them to see me happy.  And honestly, I'm my happiest when I'm working out.

I have an appointment with Dr. W on Tuesday to help get me back on track.  I don't think I would be able to adhere to a diet that is so restrictive.  I mean 4 months of following the first phase of SB was hard.

I'll check in again after my appointment on Tuesday and hopefully I'll be back on track with everything.

Mother's Day.

Emotionally, today was better than expected.

The meltdown I had was because I'm sick and had to go to urgent care.  The 2 insurance covered urgent cares are where the babies were born.  So, I stayed in town.  I paid out of pocket.  I couldn't fathom to even drive an hour and to sit in the buildings where my life changed.  Twice.

And because last night I stubbed my toe.  And because I have a blister on my finger from mowing the lawns before Tim came home from his class.

I'm hoping I feel better in a few days once the antibiotics kick in so I can continue taking care of myself again.

And I know I've blogged about this before, but I just need to get it off my chest. I'm almost certain there are emotional aspects behind me relaxing a bit with the exercise.  The fact that we are most likely not going to get pregnant again is a huge one.   And I know that I'm a good enough reason to keep it going.  I know that my future and our kids are good enough reasons to keep it going.

But there's still something holding me back.  I don't know what it is.  And I don't know how to get there.  Can anyone help me with this?

Day 3.

Things have been going.  Sometimes it's going well, sometimes it's not.  But that's life, right?  I've been working really hard at picking up after myself.  As my husband (and mother) can attest, I'm not good at cleaning my messes as I go.  I'm great at making them and somewhat picking them up.

Guys.  It's a lot harder than I thought it would be.  I don't know why.  I don't make that big of messes.  I just seem to make a lot of them.  From the minute I get out of bed, I seem to make messes wherever I go.  The bathroom (contact cases and solution, hair stuff, toothbrush and toothpaste, make up), the kitchen (breakfast, coffee, snack and lunch stuff) and the clothes.

Oh my goodness, the clothes.  

Usually, it doesn't take me too long to pick out my outfit in the morning.  I've tried to do it at night, but I'm too indecisive and don't know what I'll be in the mood for in the morning.  With changing the clothes, I don't hang tops back up or fold pants.  They go in a pile.  Then about once a week, I return the clothes to where they belong.  Well, usually. 

I've struggled with picking up as I go, but I have made improvements.  I haven't focused on my diet as much (not like I've completely blown it) but will fine tune that and the exercise in the next few days.  

How are you all doing? 

Day 1

I'll start with a few confessions.  I have a tendency to follow my heart, I put others' needs before my own, I am a procrastinator and I'm constantly thinking.  I have a difficult time quieting my thoughts, motivating myself and staying organized.  I love clothes, shoes, bags, changing my hair and spending the day at the spa.  I absolutely adore my husband and want to be a better me for us and for our future.  

He deserves that.  I deserve that.  

For some reason (a reason that I haven't discovered yet) I have a difficult time putting myself first.  I know the things that make me lose weight (the diet and exercise) and make me feel better physically and mentally (exercise, keeping my house pulled together and picking up after myself).

By the end of the month, I hope to know what stops me.  To know why there's a disconnect between what I want and what I do.  I will have exercised every day and stuck to my diet.  I will do one little thing around the house that makes me feel better.  Whether it's actually putting away my hair stuff when I'm done with it, folding the piles of laundry or tackling the pile that has needed to be organized since we moved in.


In 28 days my life will be healthier, more organized and ready for the future.

Also, my mom and I started this blog.  Follow it.  Contact us if you want to contribute to it and let us know how your 28 days go.