I'm. A. Slacker.

Remember when I wrote about my motivation and how I found it?  It was fantastic.  I was exercising daily, watching my diet, and felt amazing.  Then I got sick.  For a week and a half I was going through the motions of my daily routine... minus the exercising.  I was too dizzy, exhausted, and couldn't breathe.

And then there was Monday.  Matthew's birthday made incredibly special by getting the call saying that my best friend was being admitted to labor and delivery.  I was incredibly honored to be there and help her through labor.  Her sweet baby boy was born on Tuesday morning.  They are both healthy and doing wonderfully.

So exercise wise I haven't done much at all in the last 2 weeks.  I know I'll get it back, I have to... the 1/2 marathon isn't that far off. 

My friend (and someday guest blogger) S and her husband J are coming out to visit in the middle of November.  I'd like to lose at least 15 lbs by then.  I know I need to stop slacking, stick with my diet and exercise, and I'll get there.

That's what has been going on with me.  You all know that I'm pretty open with things, what are some topics you'd like me to talk/write about here? 

Almost One Year

I've had a difficult time deciding what to write for Matthew's upcoming birthday.  Whether I wanted to share the raw emotions here, or just on my private loss blog.  And I suppose it's okay that I haven't made a decision seeing as how I'm not even sure what I'm feeling.

There's obviously pain.  Remembering where I was this time last year and how hopeful I was.  I was receiving so much support from family, friends, and complete strangers.  We received so many calls, emails, pictures, and game faces.  It had to be different this time. 

We obviously know it wasn't.

And while it is so incredibly easy to sit and focus on that, I'm trying so hard not to.  I've had a few bad days which were made worse by this never ending cold and not being able to work out.  I've been dizzy, snotty, and stuffy for the last week.  Walking around campus makes me winded.  Working out obviously hasn't been done.  And now it's moved into my chest.  I'm hoping this means it's on its way out.

So.  Here I am almost a year after my heart was broken again.  I never thought I'd lose 2 babies and live.  And not only live, but have this hope that I have today and rebuilding my heart and body for the future.

60 Days

In 60 days my wonderful friend, S (the soon to be guest blogger) and her husband will be landing in CA.

In those 60 days, I would like to fully complete the 30 day shred and be able to run 5 miles without stopping.  I think with that and eating well, the weight should just melt off.  At least, I hope it does.

Last week was incredibly busy and difficult.  I got out to run once and it was so hot and humid it was awful.  I wasn't even happy I went when it was over.  The weather shouldn't break 100 this week so I should be will be running more often.  I also have my physical and I'm interested to see how much my cholesterol has dropped, assuming it has dropped.   I'll keep you all posted.

As for now, I'm going to take a bath and hope my migraine leaves.  I don't have time to have one.  Peace out, folks. 

Sometimes, it's just plain difficult.

I talk the talk, but don't necessarily walk the walk.  I know a lot of it has to do with being so incredibly busy at work, the birthdays are within a month (and 11 days) of each other.  In the next few days I have 2 doctors appointments (for fost/adopt), a baby shower I'm throwing (which I'm SO excited for), an adoption class, and 2 staff meetings.  Oh, and work.  And being a wife.

I just think it's so much.  And to exercise on top of that just seems like too much.  I know that an hour here or there will make me feel better, but after an incredibly long day, I'd much rather spend that time on the couch.

Help me. 

Help me get moving again.  Help me stay moving.

Help me.