Okay. Seriously...

I have the best excuse for my lack of posts.  Or the 2 best excuses :)

I believe in my last post we were just approved to foster, or were just about to be approved.  Let me go back there...

November 5th- We were approved to foster.

November 8th- We got a placement call.

November 9th- We welcomed our kids into our home.  And things haven't been and will never be the same again.  We are incredibly proud parents to The Boy and The Girl.

Obviously, I can't go into detail.  Especially here. 

Things started out really rough.  The Boy came with a lot of "issues".  Tantrums, hitting, biting, kicking, head banging.  Explosive tantrums.  Explosive everything.  We had few laughs, smiles, and easy times in the beginning.  The Girl learned most of his behaviors (but they weren't nearly as explosive) and didn't sleep through the night.

Now?  We have gigglefits and dance parties.  We have smiles and trips to the park.  It's not all rainbow and sunshine, but we have gotten through so much.  And we sleep!  Obviously, we hope that this moves toward adoption and should know more, soon.

Exercise and diet has been placed on the back burner.  Which means I didn't run the 1/2 marathon this last weekend.  I strapped the kiddos in the stroller and we cheered our family on.  I'm on the fence if I will train for one in the future... I'm leaning toward yes.  We shall see.

And now this momma is going to bed. 

Oh. My. Goodness.

First and foremost.  We are now certified foster parents!!  We can officially start taking respite (short term kinda like baby sitting) or foster only placements.  It can take a few more months to get licensed to adopt through the county.  We could, possibly, get a call any moment.  ::deep breaths::

We have been working nonstop to get the house together that my exercising has dwindled.  I've been up at 5:30am for work, home by 3:30pm and working until about 10pm.  So.  Exhausted.  I've tried to keep up with my diet which as helped me keep the lbs from not going up.

I'm recommitting to myself, to the half marathon, and to the future.  Bring it.

Shin splints.

I have them.

They suck.

That's all.

I'm Inspired.

My dear friend (and will be guest blogger), S, is saying adios to sweets for 21 days.  As incredibly awesome as that is... I know I can't do that.  What I can do is keep dark chocolate (which will be limited to 1oz a day) and nix the rest of the crap. 

Who wants to join us?  It doesn't have to be sweets, it can be anything that you want to change. 

Anyone else want to respond to the biggest loser challenge?  We'll work out the details soon, I promise!

No More Excuses

I am 100% fed up with myself.  Today, I weighed in 5 lbs higher than last week.

5 lbs is not okay.  No matter what 5lbs is not okay.

I know I keep saying "today it's going to be different", but then I just come home and sit on my butt and don't exercise.  Or I go grab a piece of chocolate after lunch.  Or I eat a slice of pizza with my salad for dinner.

My someday guest blogger and I are going to start a biggest loser thing.  We're not sure how exactly we're going to do it, or who all can/will be involved but we will.   If anyone wants to join us, just leave a comment with your email (don't worry it won't be published, just complied) and I'll update you once we have it all figured out.

I'm. A. Slacker.

Remember when I wrote about my motivation and how I found it?  It was fantastic.  I was exercising daily, watching my diet, and felt amazing.  Then I got sick.  For a week and a half I was going through the motions of my daily routine... minus the exercising.  I was too dizzy, exhausted, and couldn't breathe.

And then there was Monday.  Matthew's birthday made incredibly special by getting the call saying that my best friend was being admitted to labor and delivery.  I was incredibly honored to be there and help her through labor.  Her sweet baby boy was born on Tuesday morning.  They are both healthy and doing wonderfully.

So exercise wise I haven't done much at all in the last 2 weeks.  I know I'll get it back, I have to... the 1/2 marathon isn't that far off. 

My friend (and someday guest blogger) S and her husband J are coming out to visit in the middle of November.  I'd like to lose at least 15 lbs by then.  I know I need to stop slacking, stick with my diet and exercise, and I'll get there.

That's what has been going on with me.  You all know that I'm pretty open with things, what are some topics you'd like me to talk/write about here? 

Almost One Year

I've had a difficult time deciding what to write for Matthew's upcoming birthday.  Whether I wanted to share the raw emotions here, or just on my private loss blog.  And I suppose it's okay that I haven't made a decision seeing as how I'm not even sure what I'm feeling.

There's obviously pain.  Remembering where I was this time last year and how hopeful I was.  I was receiving so much support from family, friends, and complete strangers.  We received so many calls, emails, pictures, and game faces.  It had to be different this time. 

We obviously know it wasn't.

And while it is so incredibly easy to sit and focus on that, I'm trying so hard not to.  I've had a few bad days which were made worse by this never ending cold and not being able to work out.  I've been dizzy, snotty, and stuffy for the last week.  Walking around campus makes me winded.  Working out obviously hasn't been done.  And now it's moved into my chest.  I'm hoping this means it's on its way out.

So.  Here I am almost a year after my heart was broken again.  I never thought I'd lose 2 babies and live.  And not only live, but have this hope that I have today and rebuilding my heart and body for the future.