That motivation? I think I found it.

PCOS.

I was diagnosed about 2 years ago after being off the pill for awhile.  I had nonexistent periods and gained about 10-15 pounds that I couldn't get off with diet (weight watchers) and exercise.  This month?  The ONE month I'm not super strict with my diet and exercising 5 days a week- no period.  I started tracking my bbt but then my thermometer died so I'm not 100% sure I ovulated.  I think I did, but who knows.

I did the dreaded act of peeing on a stick which promptly told me that I am not pregnant (whew).  So I'm guessing I didn't ovulate.  And thus- PCOS is rearing its ugly head and interfering with my life.  Again.  There are too many damn emotions involved with seeing the negative pregnancy test (even though we're not trying to get pregnant).  Too much guessing, too much weight, too much just blah.

I hate that I did this.  I hate that this is happening again.  But I know that I have the power to change it and to get back on track.  Who knows, maybe I needed the break to readjust my mind-frame and to get back on track.

But even more important than that to me is my husband and our life together.  When we have our kids at home with us, we want to be active.  We want to go camping, hiking, biking... and while I can do it now, it will be easier 26ish pounds lighter.


So there you have it.  Motivation?  I haz it.